


don't rollerblade on tiled floors

by moo_lan



Series: we all know cats have multiple lives but this is just absurd [2]
Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Crack, Don't Like Don't Read, M/M, deep voice sim kano has taken over my life and i really don't like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27885250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moo_lan/pseuds/moo_lan
Summary: Dippy Fresh Kano moves on to the next smoothie, Shintaro sighs, Kano glares, Shuuya whimpers. Everyone’s at their finest. Shintaro wants to go home.that's it that's the fic.
Relationships: Kano Shuuya/Kisaragi Shintaro
Series: we all know cats have multiple lives but this is just absurd [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041810
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	don't rollerblade on tiled floors

**Author's Note:**

> it's 1:32 AM and i. oh god  
> i'd like to blame this on someone else but sadly this is all on me. me and my mushy brain, listening to billie eilish on loop at 1 AM when we. don't like billie eilish. oh god.  
> crack!! yes should be obvious this whole series is crack. very much so. this all started with sim kano and it. spiraled. oh g

“Awesome.” Dippy Fresh Kano is smiling, Shintaro can  _ hear  _ it, yet. 

Yet.

“This is  _ not awesome, _ ” pointedly states Shintaro. Stares at Dippy Fresh Kano, who noisily slurps his smoothie while maintaining eye contact. Except it’s not really eye contact, because he’s once more wearing his neon green sunglasses — although they’re  _ indoors, _ and Shintaro can see both his tired expression and the cold flare of the lightbulbs above them in Dippy Fresh Kano’s sunglasses lenses.

_ Slurp.  _ “Awesome.”

“Not. Awesome,” hisses Shintaro. The tiled floor beneath their feet is shiny and slippery, and Dippy Fresh Kano is struggling to maintain his balance on his rollerblades. “...Why don’t you try wearing normal shoes for once?” 

Like in some cheap music video, Dippy Fresh Kano’s turning in slow motion, eyes (probably) wide behind the darkened lense and staring at him. Deeply affronted. 

“ _ Huh?? _ ” He’s so busy staring at him that he actually stops slurping on his smoothie for a couple of seconds. The rollerblades slide apart on the tiles, slide back towards each other. Gaping, Dippy Fresh Kano keeps on staring at Shintaro. “ _ Wear normal shoes? _ ”

_ OK, guess not then. _

“Sorry, sorry, forget I asked,” mutters Shintaro, hands lifted in defeat. Beside him, Dippy Fresh Kano’s started noisily slurping on his smoothie again. Guess all’s fine there then. “Where’re the others? They’d said it’d only be a couple of minutes and it’s been half an hour…”

Checking his phone and proving that,  _ yes _ , it has indeed been thirty minutes since the promised time, Shintaro finally gives up on his remaining dignity and sits down on the floor of the grocery store, back against the shelves. There’s a toilet brush poking in his back but he can’t be bothered to move.

A woman passes them, stares a bit, then carefully avoids eye contact.

Dippy Fresh Kano continues slurping on his smoothie.

_ Just how many of these does he drink? _

Of course, it is then that Kano decides to show up, Shuuya in tow. The latter’s carrying multiple baskets filled to the brim with junk food, and Kano’s just. Kano. He smirks at Shintaro, who self-consciously stands up, brushes off his pants.

“You done?” He asks, eyeing the baskets Shuuya’s cradling in his arms. They keep slipping out of his hold and his knees are bent, shaking as he gets more and more desperate in keeping the pile of baskets together.

Before Shintaro can even think of helping him, all the products are on the floor and Shuuya’s staring at them, bewildered. Kano’s glaring at the products, and when his gaze moves to Shuuya, the latter flinches violently and rushes to put them all back into the basket.

Dippy Fresh Kano moves on to the next smoothie, Shintaro sighs, Kano glares, Shuuya whimpers. Everyone’s at their finest. Shintaro wants to go home.

After Shuuya’s managed to put everything back and they’ve successfully gotten past checkout — the only incident being Dippy Fresh Kano spilling smoothie on the cashier, which Shintaro guesses is good enough considering; well, considering — they’re all idling at the front of the supermarket, and Shintaro’s suddenly  _ hit _ by the fact that he’s at the mall with three Kano Shuuyas (formerly four). And one of them’s carrying more grocery bags than a human should probably be attempting to, but somehow he manages. Everyone’s awkward and uncomfortable, and Shintaro’s pretty sure that none of them want to be there in each others’ company but he’d probably be the only one to admit it. So saying it out loud would be embarrassing. 

Why do they hang out if they don’t want to, sometimes Shintaro asks himself. But then Kano’s next to him, all three of them, just a weird. Flock of weird birds. Or a clowder of stray cats, each one weirder than the last.

So yeah, they just. Hang out sometimes. Who’s Shintaro to even question this situation, just four dudes who definitely do not like each other strolling through the mall.

Dippy Fresh Kano’s next to him, not walking like a normal person. Because he isn’t wearing  _ shoes _ , he’s wearing  _ rollerblades _ — so he’s beside Shintaro, rollerblading his way through the mall.

“Whoa,” Shintaro hears Dippy Fresh Kano breathe before he’s suddenly not by his side anymore, instead sprawled on the floor like a starfish. He noisily unsticks his cheek from the floor, looks up towards the bookstore next to them. “Shoujo manga,” he manages to whisper before Kano’s suddenly by his side and pulling him up.

“What did we talk about?” Kano’s softly asking the other, his voice a threatening whisper. Shuuya visibly relaxes, the attention away from him for once. “What was it that we decided.” Not a question. A reminder.

“No Shoujo manga,” pouted Dippy Fresh Kano.

“Good,” smiled Kano, teeth gritted. He seems stressed out, and Shintaro would tell him to chill out if he wasn’t so utterly terrified that he’d be Kano’s next target. And if he wasn’t so absolutely, decidedly, not-chill himself.

A few minutes later, Kano’s back at the front with Shuuya, saying something in a low voice that has Shuuya tensing up and taking a careful step away from him. Shintaro’s in the back again, with Dippy Fresh Kano rollerblading next to him. His sunglasses are slightly cracked and he keeps tripping.

“You know,” he whispers to Shintaro, carefully glancing at Kano to make sure he can’t hear. “I actually love shoujo manga.” The last words are said in such a low voice that Shintaro has to lean closer to hear him — it makes Dippy Fresh Kano stumble and soon enough he’s sprawled on the floor again.

This time, Kano doesn’t even turn to them. Dippy Fresh Kano stands up, brushes himself off, then goes on as if nothing has happened. His sunglasses are even more cracked now.

“I used to dream of falling in love,” he says, and if it were anyone except Dippy Fresh Kano they would’ve said it embarrassedly, but it’s Dippy Fresh Kano so he says it while chewing on his smoothie’s straw. 

Nature has a way of balancing things out though, so it’s Shintaro that’s embarrassed for him.

“And what happened?” asks Shintaro because he has no sense of self-preservation to tell him to end this conversation already.

An incline of the head towards Kano, up at the front. “He happened.”

Before Shintaro can question that sentence, Kano’s turning and glaring at them.

“What are you two talking about there?” he asks, eyes narrowed.

Dippy Fresh Kano trips and falls again, and Shintaro isn’t one hundred percent sure that it’s on purpose and not because of his almost destroyed sunglasses. Kano sighs and turns back, but not before sneering maliciously at Shintaro.

The question Shintaro hadn’t asked moments earlier is suddenly answered.

Yeah, he can see it.

**Author's Note:**

> how dare i fill the kanoshin tag with this.


End file.
